I am sitting in my kitchen, watching the wonderful snow coming down, drinking a hot toddy, and thinking about how lucky I am..... I am blown away by how incredibly blessed I am and by how many amazing people I have in my life. I was going to start the "what I am thankful for" November FB posts early... because I have so many people and things to be thankful for. But, then I thought, I don't want to just SAY I am thankful, I want to pass it on and SHOW that I am thankful and share the blessings in my life. So, what I am going to do is: I am writing down the names of everyone in my life who I am thankful for, all the people who have meant something to me, and who have shown me so much kindness. I am going to put all the names in a mason jar, then everyday( health permitting), I am going to draw a name and do something nice for that person: take them to lunch, send a card or a care package, whatever I feel they need. I will also do a random act of kindness in honor of the person who's name I drew. I will tell them what I did in their honor.
It seems silly and small, but it is the least I can do to start to keep the love and kindness moving forward.
Monday, June 18, 2012
I did it. I bought a one way ticket to France. Really. Just a few strokes of the keyboard, and I am going to Paris in September. Why am I doing this??? I will be hiking the Camino de Santiago (the way of St. James). The path I'm taking starts in the south of France and heads to Galatia, Spain. It is 500 miles, so I will be walking about 16.8 miles a day for a month... I thought three days of walking almost 20 miles a day was enough last year For the Susan G. Komen 3-Day walk, but now I will be doing it for a month. A MONTH. Or more. That's why I just bought a one-way ticket. I am determined to walk the WHOLE thing. So I am leaving some wiggle room in case of injury or fatigue.... plus I saw that there are many places to stop for wine, cheese, and bread. My favorite meal.
Again, WHY am I doing this??? Because I like to set unreal goals for myself, listen to people doubt that I can do it, and try to talk me out of them. Then I like to do it anyway- and prove to everyone (myself included) that I can do it??? Maybe. But, mostly, I NEED to do it. I have this extraordinary gift of life, and I need to experience it- to the fullest. I have talked about my cancer a lot.... it is no secret that I am "supposed" to be nearing my end. But, here I am. Just kicking along. I will be celebrating the start of my 5th year on this trek- the year that I was not supposed to see. In a way, hiking 500 miles in Spain, seems very fitting for this "celebration"... I am here, and I have more than survived. I am such a different person than I was 5 years ago. In many ways, getting a terminal illness has made me live my life. I say YES to so many more things. I'm not afraid of what other people think of me. I tell people I LOVE YOU everyday. And I am not afraid of life anymore. I have learned that Karma really does work. Yes, I may be sick, but I have lived more in the last few years than I did the 20- something previous years. In life, you get what you give. And I have received so much from life. I hope I give enough back....
The other BIG reason that I am doing this is: my mom died three months ago. I miss her so much. There were days when I thought I could just curl up and die.... but, Judy would hate that. She sacrificed so much for me and my happiness. I am living the life that she could barely dream of living. I hope that I can come to peace with my mom while I am hiking. She wanted my life to be big- and it is. It is HUGE.
And finally, I am walking to help others. I am hoping to somehow have this as a fundraiser for Friends Through the Fight( see previous post)..... I am not sure how I am going to do that, but I have creative friends who always help me. I am sponsoring my first group of friends this summer..... I am so excited. I want to help many more people. I want that to be my legacy, what I leave behind.
I will be blogging while I am getting ready for this journey and while I am hiking. I am very excited and slightly worried that I will have to rely on just me. But, I always meet amazing people when I need them, I bet Spain won't be any different.